Nearly 80% of patients with autoimmune diseases are women. Various theories have been presented, but research shows the answer often lies in how women are conditioned to behave.
Self-silencing and autoimmunity
Since the late 1980s, research has identified women’s tendency to suppress emotions, prioritize others’ needs, and avoid conflict as major contributors to breakdowns in health:
- Those who don’t express themselves in marital conflicts have a four times higher risk of premature death.
- Self-silencing has been directly linked to irritable bowel syndrome, chronic fatigue, and autoimmune conditions.
- Women who suppress emotions experience heightened anxiety, depression, and psychiatric distress.
- Women of color who suppress anger show 70% higher rates of cardiovascular disease.
- Emotional suppression impairs memory and cognitive function during stressful situations.
- Those with trauma histories show more severe PTSD when emotions are chronically suppressed.
- Suppression damages family relationships and communication patterns, affecting overall well-being
Chronically silencing oneself disrupts the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis and elevates inflammatory immune activity. The result is chronic stress hormone dysregulation that can cascade into systemic inflammation, weakened gut barrier function, and overzealous immune reactions, creating a perfect storm for the development of autoimmune diseases.
When we constantly activate our sympathetic nervous system while suppressing our natural responses, we literally program our bodies for disease.
The ACE Connection
People-pleasing often stems from a stressful childhood. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study revealed that individuals with high ACE scores, which measure exposure to abuse, neglect, or household dysfunction in childhood, develop hypervigilant nervous systems as survival mechanisms. These children learn that anticipating others’ needs and avoiding conflict keeps them safe.
Research shows people with ACE scores of 4+ have a 260% increased risk of autoimmune diseases.
The chronic hypervigilance from childhood trauma creates adrenal, immune, gut, and neurological states that persist into adulthood, setting the stage for autoimmunity. When you add modern immune triggers, such as toxins, processed foods, high-sugar diets, sleep deprivation, etc., the self-silencer with a high ACE score is considerably less resilient.
A Prescription for Change
An anti-inflammatory lifestyle includes addressing the chronic stress we unconsciously generate. Multiple avenues of recovery exist, with the goals being to:
- Honor your emotions as data: Anger signals unmet needs, not character flaws. Many women must relearn how to be angry in a constructive way.
- Practice boundary setting: Healthy limits strengthen relationships, reduce inflammation, and even help others feel more secure in your presence.
- Embrace “disappointing” others: Your health depends on authentic self-expression. We’ve had countless patients over the years tell us their autoimmune disease forced them to be better self-advocates, which benefited not only their health but also their relationships and quality of life.
Society has long mistaken women’s silence for virtue, but you were created to express your full truth…your health depends on it.